What constitutes enabling an addiction or other problem behaviors? When is the line crossed between helping someone and enabling them? An enabler is anyone who takes on responsibilities or worries for another person that the individual should be doing for themselves. Whether the problem is an addiction or an adult child who is not responsible financially, enabling occurs when the individual is protected from the consequences of their actions because of your actions. If the problem is not substance abuse or an addiction though, it may be a little more difficult to determine if your an enabler.
Do you find yourself taking care of someone else because of an addiction, irresponsibility, or a lack of thought on their part? Do you try to make excuses for the individual? Do you perform tasks that are their responsibility? If these questions are yes then you could be an enabler. With an addiction an enabler feels responsible for the problem, even though they are not the one with the substance abuse issue. You may find yourself doing things to make life easier on the person with the addiction, at the expense of your time and energy. This may include talking to others on their behalf, running their errands, or providing regular financial assistance.
What can you do if you determine you are an enabler when it comes to addiction? You will need treatment to examine the ways that you enable, so that you can eliminate this behavior. The line between helping out and enabling is crossed when you start to do things to make the individual’s life more comfortable or convenient at the expense of your own comfort and convenience. When you shield the individual from responsibility and the consequences of their addiction you are not really helping them, and are actually preventing them from becoming responsible members of society.
Whether you are suffering from an addiction or you are enabling one, there is help at Valiant Recovery. Our program includes treatment components to help you stop this behavior, and determine what caused it in the first place. Addiction is not easy to deal with, and if the individual with the problem is someone you care about it is a natural instinct to want to help. You have to use caution to keep from crossing the line though, and going from assisting to enabling. Being an enabler hurts both parties, the person enabling and the individual being protected from the consequences of their actions.
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